<< | 2004-11-01 @ 5:36 p.m. | >>
I want to live in a house

You know what I sometimes envision for my life. Or what I have been envisioning lately...

I woke up a couple nights ago. Ha ha, I just said nights. I meant mornings. Let me start over. I woke up a couple mornings ago, with the deep desire on my heart to go in to counseling. Like, I really, really wanted to.

Last night, my roommate and boyfriend told me that I love everyone. I told them it's not true, I don't. They said, "yes it is. You love everyone. Even the people you don't like, you try to give them value."

I tried to deny it. Then I tried to get proud about it. Neither are the response I wanted.

I finished reading Blue Like Jazz this afternoon while I was supposed to be doing homework. But I needed some time to be. Be with God. Connect with myself. Connect with someone else trying to connect with the Lord. I needed some time to worship too. I love it when a writer can write about worship, and you worship as you read. Or can write about love, and you feel more loving.

At one point, he was writing about learning to love himself. He talked about this woman who listened to him while he was at a crisis point in his life. She was getting her counseling license, and had a role of taking care of some of the people in the church. He said that her eyes were kind, and he didn't feel crazy, but relieved.

I wanted to be like her. And to have a house where people could come over, and be counseled, or maybe I'd just give them a massage if their tension was in their body more than their mind. Either way, it'd get to their heart.

A 7th grader said that he thinks that when we pray, God gives us twice of what we ask for...He's just that good.

Maybe I'll ask God for a house with my own room where people can come and I'll be a good listener.

And when they leave, they won't feel so crazy, but relieved.

So these days, I'm praying about being a counselor.

Maybe I'll be a counselor in Chinese...

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