Do you ever feel like you�re going to crack? But you don�t�because the constraints of society are too burdensome. I can�t crack, because I�ll get fired. I can�t get fired because I have to pay my bills.

Oh how I long to do something I love.

Something I care about.

With people I care about.

Working here only produces dissent within me. Do we force purpose? Oh, I suppose I�m building character.

I feel alone. Bored. Tired. Hostile.

Lord, rescue me. Get me out of this place. Set me free. Let me run in open fields.

I think of my Psalm: In my distress I cried out to the Lord. �I am cut off from your sight!�

Yet You heard my cry for mercy.

Set me free from this prison, that I may praise your name.

Answering phones is my prison.

So then, am I like Paul�stuck, desiring to be free.

I want the church to pray for my freedom. Set me free. I want them to pray, and as they are praying, I want to walk to their door. Open it��Look, here I am. No longer in prison! Rejoice with me, for my King has heard my prayer.�

Yet I do not doubt He hears me now.

You see, He has this strange way about Him. I believe He knows me. I believe He knows my heart.

Oh, I am so anxious. I feel as if I am awaiting a hearing. And the verdict is�

I really have no idea.

You give and take away.

There are so many variables in life.

Honestly,

Trace

P.S. I have always had a flair for the dramatic.

p.p.s. I need to make the addendum, that though I am ready to leave now, and am praying for a new job--there are some things here I have learned, and am deeply grateful for.
Annette: for asking God for a friend to be here with you and for your constant affirming-ness
Nate: back massages at work are a beautiful thing, as is eating Thai food, and watching you skate
Andrea: your kindness is so appreciated

Now that I think about it, I think I will take more than that with me from this place...but right now, it's 5, and I'm going home

love, me