I don't think I'm getting a new job (I have waited for)...I had to answer phones all day...I felt lonely...my boss got mad at me...I felt hostile

My mantra lately has been: Though there's pain in the offering...Blessed be the name.

Something just clicked for me: The Lord disciplines those he loves.

I love my mom. Hmmm, that sounds funny. A bit like those men with big pick-up trucks and bumper stickers that say "I love my wife." So utterly declarative. So bold. So poignant.

But I really do love my mom. Last night I called her. She wanted to tell me about our new governor...I just wanted to talk. And I cried a bit too.

Crying to my mom feels like unlodging a dam which has become clogged with drift logs, discarded beer bottles, and rusty tire rims. I guess with the position of mom comes to ability to either make things worse, or much, much better. Last night she made things better; I suppose it was the awareness of being connected to something.

Then I got to talk to Trisha. It was easy conversation...I love easy conversation. And, as with my mom, it was nice to connect.

If this entry seems disjointed, it is because I've been answering phones throughout the entire thing. Because that is my job...at least for today.

With deep love,

Tracey

p.s. Happy Birthday Erin.