<< | 2003-10-30 @ 5:13 p.m. | >>
an expose (say with French accent)
There is a lot I get worked up about.
Women in ministry is an easy button for me.
I am very pro -- if you want to know my stance.
However, through the persistence questioning and probing of a certain friend, I am realizing that I need to learn a lesson from Gandhi.
Ironically enough, I need to voice myself in quietness and submission.
But...before I turn that leaf, I want to share with you all a poem I wrote some time back.
It is, in many ways, the antithesis of submissive -- but actually quite cathartic.
will probably have to delete this later.
(warning: does contain some swearing -- it was during an especially difficult season)
Sometimes we have a reason
While I�m talking
To that unnamed audience
to which I sometimes like to speak
What is it with our messed up definition
of this concept of strength
I�m sorry
but I don�t agree
Cause in reality I see
Strength is found
not in the hard
or the ones who don�t feel
who�ve an answer to provide
Give me a soft touch
a sincere tear
That�s where I find
true strength.
Docile, I ain�t.
Or no subservient chick.
If I wanna be nice
in a way you don�t get
Turn around,
let me be
It�s my style.
Cause I know how it feels
to have your dignity smashed
To cry every night
as you�re growing to hate
the one they all assholishly ridicule.
I ain�t nice
because I�m all better than you
I still hate at times
People get on my nerves too
But I don�t want to line up
at the gate to the Coliseum
Then watch the disgrace of God's children
Like them Romans did.
I�ve got mean thoughts
I just think they�re wrong
to dish out & hand out
like somehow you�re Judge
And as far as it depends on me
I don�t wanna be pushin� pain along.
But docile I ain�t.
No, don�t insult me like that.
�Cause I tell you this
I choke on my blood
before I will let
a soul smash its face
in the shit of this world
And just cause I�m nice
Don�t make me no good little girl.
So put back your tongue
Inside your trap
Think about this,
Let it float in your head�
Subservient I�m not
I just know how it feels
to cry every night
As you keep on the hate
�gainst yourself
�gainst the one
they abuse every day.
That each day they choose
to kick in the spot
where you still haven�t learned
that you damn well deserve
a space on this earth,
that�s empty for you
And that�s why I live the way that I do.
To stop and to heal
the ones on the way
who themselves still don�t know
and continue
to perpetuate
the hate
that�s the source
of a crippling pain
Docile I ain�t
This is very well planned
So return to your seat
Close your mouth like I said.
And think the next time
An ignorant opinion
flaps around
in your head.
|